Bermuda is a gorgeous island in the Atlantic Ocean with pristine, aqua blue water crashing across pink shorelines. Stepford wives drink cocktails in our golf clubs while their husbands take their business meetings to the greens. On Sundays, Bermudians cram into one of our hundreds of churches to celebrate the Lord’s day and preaching against the sins of the world. As a queer couple in Bermuda, we already have a conservative culture stacked against us. In a community that would rather our love story be kept behind closed doors, Instagram gave us an outlet to share a love that neither of us saw growing up.
On an app that was designed to share a perfectly filtered life, Instagram has given us a platform to share little snippets of our travels, relationship and parts of our lives that we wouldn’t necessarily make public. Each photo or caption curated to tell a story that feels familiar. But how familiar do we want to be? How much of our real relationship or travels do we share with the internet?
In August, Bermuda celebrated its first ever Pride weekend. The weekend was welcomed with a “prayer vigil” to protect the island from the evils of a Pride weekend and there were rumors of attacks at the parade (which didn’t happen, thank God). Tensions were high across the island but also right in our very own home. The stress of being this weird, unofficial spokesperson for the gay community combined with disagreements within our own relationship had us on the brink of breakup but the show must go on right? We put on our best “selfie” face and survived Pride weekend but our actual relationship was left feeling like a fasade. Just like our beautiful island home has become a pro at painting a perfect image of what a sub-tropical paradise is, we had become experts at avoiding conversations, passive aggressive texts and uncomfortable silence. We were too afraid of what being honest would do to this perfectly curated version of our relationship.
By October we both had had enough. We needed to break away from the algorithm and do away with the filters. In order for us to move forward we needed to be honest with what we wanted: what we honestly, truly wanted and needed from ourselves and our relationship. We also needed to remember why we fell in love with each other to begin with.
Instagram is curated: the stories of love, travels and romance. Instagram is curated: the stories of stress, unhappiness and depression.
Each caption tells a story that is meant to feel familiar, but how familiar do you truly want us to be?
Thank you to Cassie and Jenaya over at @LesGoThere on Instagram for writing this amazing piece. Please feel free to follow them at @LesGoThere on all of their socials, and feel free to check out their website at lesgothere.simplero.com